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- Confessions may be great for your soul, but they are hell for your reputation.
- Yes, the early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Do you remember when I asked you to give me your opinion? That’s right, me neither.
Sometimes it’s time to lay on the couch and do nothing at all for two years.
If the grass is greener on the other side, fair bet is, the water bill is higher too.
Of course you’re not stupid.
You just have bad luck when you think.
If you want to keep a true perspective of your own importance, get a dog that will worship you and a cat that will scorn you.
My middle finger salutes you!
I’ll be there to catch you whenever you fall. Love, the floor.
A bag of money can be a symbol not only of wealth, but also of tremendous inflation.
The only scenario where you really need a land line today is when you’re trying to find your smartphone.
When you’re calling a woman, you need to call her twice. First time to give her a chance to find the phone in her handbag, the second time for her to actually answer.
Help a woman when she’s in trouble. She will remember you when she’s in trouble again.
Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
Always be yourself. Unless you can also be a unicorn. In that case, always be a unicorn.
He who laughs last is a bit of a slow thinker.
Some people’s x-rays actually look much better than their photographs.
Television is a medium – anything well done is rare.
Of course I can keep secrets. But the people I tell them to obviously can’t. [/restrict]