We are all broken, and it’s okay!
-Unknown
Last week we looked into the problems of emotional hangups that keep you stuck in the past. We may be intelligent, successful, and have enough money to last a lifetime, but we hurt others and ourselves because of emotional hangups. Yes, they can be successful, intelligent, and doing well financially but their heart is stuck… hanging on a tree. These stuck emotions can color your view of everything going on in your life, and actually influence all of your decision without your consciously knowing it.
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Now we come to an area which is at the very heart of the subject of our journey – resentment, bitterness, and HATE. Palauans know that there are fishes with such bitter gallbladder that must be carefully removed, otherwise, the whole fish soup will be bitter. Embittered people are like that… they hate without knowing. They are so competitive, negative and quite egocentric. They are childish emotionally. They are stuck. This is when they need counseling.
It’s an old story that one feels his sibling was favored over him or her. Favoritism is told as one of the oldest narrative in the Old Testament. Jacob aka Israel was favored by his mother, Rebekah. The beginning of deceit and dysfunctional families. It’s not recorded in the Bible but there have been times when I wonder if Eve favored Abel over Cain. When Abel’s offering was accepted, Cain was furious with jealousy and killed his brother.
I wonder why we mothers manipulate every situation in the home. Why a parent prefers one child over the other which causes many marital problems crossing time, culture and space. The reason is because the fruit looked so good to Eve. Eve looked good to Adam. And we have been going on a merry-go-round of dysfunctional homes since Eden.
I know a man who shared with me some of the worst stories of child abuse I have ever heard. When I asked him to pray, he cried big tears. I couldn’t help but cry with him and his wife. He asked me something about God. I shared what I knew – “God’s love transcends our quirks and what not. Nothing is too big for Him.” As we prayed, “He began to remember his painful memories and cried out, “And God, where in the hell were you when all this was going on?” It was overwhelming– violent emotion gripped him, shaking him like a leaf. He was afraid but it wasn’t long before he experienced a flood of God’s love “washing over him like ocean waves” (his words). Three of us felt as if a cool mist was sprayed on us. It was so wonderful and so good. “When peace like a river attended my way….” They joined in singing and I knew the LORD has done his stuff again. This is why I do what I do. When God heals and blesses one, his blessing, like waterfall splashes from the subject to those in the vicinity. He is in the room!
Pierre Wolff wrote a truly remarkable book, May I Hate God. The author shows how our anger and resentment (hate), which we think will only separate us from God, can also become the doorway to greater intimacy with Him. Don’t you think it’s time to forgive and move on? Denying hatred only takes you away from Love. [/restrict]