Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

A: Fingernails.


Q: Why is England the wettest country?

A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.



Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

A: I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.


Man: “Hey baby, what’s your sign?”

Woman: “Do not enter.”


Q: Why can’t you trust an atom?

A: Because they make up everything.

Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

A: “You’re too young to smoke.”


A young boy came home from school and told his mother, “I had a big fight with my classmate. He called me a sissy.” The mother asked, “What did you do?” The boy replied, “I hit him with my purse!”


A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, “You can stay but don’t try to start anything.” [/restrict]