1. What does HMO stand for?
  2. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “HEY MOE.” Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges,who discovered that a patient could be made to forgetabout the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.

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  • I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctorI want?
  • Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Yourinsurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. These doctors basically fall into twocategories — those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longerparticipating in the plan. But don’t worry; the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has anoffice just a half-day’s drive away and has a diploma from a Third World Country.
  • Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
  • No. Only those you need.
  • Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?

    • A Certainly, as long as they don’t require any treatment.

    1. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
    2. You’ll need to find alternative forms of payment.
    3. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the namebrand. I tried the Generic Medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. Whatshould I do?
    4. Poke yourself in the eye.
    5. What if I’m away from home and I get sick?
    6. You really shouldn’t do that.
    7. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform aheart transplant right in his office?
    8. Hard to say, but considering that all you’re risking is the $15 co-payment, there’s no harm in giving him a shot at it. [/restrict]