Two guys were sitting having a quiet drink in a coffee shop one day.

Suddenly the Town’s fire alarm went off.

One of the guys jumped up and headed for the door.

[restrict]

His friend shouted after him, “Hey Bill, I didn’t know you were a fireman?”

Bill replied, “I’m not, but my girlfriend’s husband is…”

****

One day a boy went swimming in a lake.

He soon got into trouble though and was starting to drown.

Luckily there was a firefighter by the lake who swam out and pulled the boy up onto the

beach and began CPR.

A crowed gathered round and watched as the firefighter frantically pumped on the boys chest.

Water kept pouring from the boy’s mouth. Each time the firefighter pumped more water came out.

A short time later seaweed started coming out, then minnows, then more water started coming out of the boy’s mouth.

The firefighter feared this would never stop.

Just then, a paramedic arrived, quickly ran over to the firefighter and said, “Hey Chief! You better get that kid’s ass out of the water before you pump that lake dry”.

****

Three firefighters went out on a hunting trip one day. There was a rookie, a captain, and a chief.

The weather was miserable and they hadn’t seen any deer all day. Finally they came across an old shack where they went inside to play a game of poker.

 

After losing a few hands, the rookie threw down his cards and said “That does it! I’m going out to get me a deer.”

Fifteen minutes later, the rookie came back with a nice four point buck.

The captain and the chief asked him, “How did you get that?”

The rookie said, “I walked out fifty feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck.”

The captain then said, “I’ve had enough of this too, I’m going to get my deer.”

Half an hour later he came back with a 6 point buck.

The chief asked him, “How did you get that?” and the captain said, “I walked out a hundred feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck.”

The chief not wanting to be out done said, “I’m out of here, I’m going to bag the biggest buck of the day.”

He came back an hour later, all mangled up and bloody.

The rookie and the captain asked him, “What the hell happened to you?”

The chief replied, “I walked out five hundred feet, followed some tracks, and got hit by a train.”

****

There was a huge fire downtown one day and the firemen were having a bit of trouble.

A young woman was stuck on the fourth floor with her baby.

The firefighters told her to drop the child out the window and they would catch it with the net they had placed under it.

The mother refused to do this though.

Things looked grim until a tall, well-built man burst through the crowd and shouted to the women.

He said, “I’m a professional football player and I’m sure to catch the baby safely.”

After a few more minutes more of pleading and reassurances from the man, the mother finally let the child drop.

The football player made a breathtaking catch, and everybody cheered.

At that moment he suddenly raised the child high in the air, spiked it on the ground and yelled, “TOUCHDOWN!” [/restrict]