To know yourself is the beginning of wisdom.  -Socrates

In the journey to the heart (our true and genuine self) is getting to know ourselves.  To be fully human and fully alive.

I choose to approach life as a broken person in need of God’s mercy and grace. Always in search of healing and finding peace in the midst of pain and chaos.  It’s taken me decades to train the eyes of my heart to see the world from my brokenness and scars. It has stopped my need to complain and explain. 

The scars are evidence that healing took place. Scars remind me of the joy of healing and my encountering Jesus, the wounded healer, who brought peace that passes all understanding. Healing of Deep wounds in life breed compassionate spirit, an  understanding mind, and tender heart.  There’s no room for hate and judgment ~ a lifelong journey.

Most of us grew up with a mean  and angry God in the sky. I know I did. It wounded my heart and murdered my soul.  I walked in fear like a zombie without a heart —  spiritually dead. I came to see that most religious people are  narcissists or have traits of narcissism and  codependency. They project so much to suppress their fear. When we are afraid we use God to create more fears and point fingers to release our own anxieties and fears. I saw this in the movie, Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (a book club) with Lily James as Juliet … set on the island of Guernsey right after World War II.  It was ugly. There’s a scene with the woman owner who was so angry and judgmental. She believed the book club was evil because Elizabeth had a baby with the German, a Nazi soldier. The B&B owner, in her self righteousness 

said to the London Writer, “Let us pray.” (See the movie on Netflix) What Juliet said knocked me over. She said,  “Here’s a book (Bible) filled with love and you overlook it for judgment and petty meanness…”

Our culture of honor and shame forces us to live that false self.   It’s buried deep in our psyche we’re unconscious of it. The survival mechanism keeps us locked in our own mindset like captives.  Sò we go thru the motion acting as expected in fear God will come down and strike us in anger or we rebel and go all out. But God’s anger is slow. His love is kind abd patient and so much more.  He gives us more chances to change our ways.  When Jesus came he broke the chains, opened the prison door to set us, the captives, free.

GOD was compassionate to Moses. He talked with God as a friend would. Moses wrote the first five books of the Bible, the Torah.  The consequences for his missing the mark kept him from crossing Jordan River to the promised land. But God took him to where HE is.  David was forgiven at a time when he and Bathsheba should have been stoned to death. Sadly he lived to reap the harvest of so much  chaos and dysfunctions in his household.

It was in the palace that David wrote some of the best songs and poems in his old age as he reflected in his journey to become king.

Someone said that if David was normal he would not have written the psalms. When you read psalms, you’d think he’s bipolar. Lol

Scandals in the Bible tell us how long, how high, how wide, and how deep God’s Love is for you and me. I know He loves me in spite of myself. We just reap what we sow.

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