Skip to content
- A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
- My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with rum, vodka, or whiskey.
New Year’s Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper.
My New Year’s resolution is 1080p
I’m getting drunk just thinking about tomorrow night.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
If you’re born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have? Happy New Year!
If 2016 was a person, I’d sue him for pain and suffering and lost wages.
This New Year’s I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess.
You don’t have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.
I’ll remember 2016 like it was yesterday [/restrict]