At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?”
The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued, “when a strike is called, or you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?”
Again the little boy nodded.
“Good,” said the coach.
“Now go over there and explain it to your mother.”
A group of hikers were being l
A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been travelling in circles.
“We’re lost!” One of the men complained. “I thought you said you were the best guide in the United States.”
“I am,” the guide answered, “but I think we may have wandered into Canada.”
One day an employee came in to
One day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged.
When his boss asked him what happened, he explained:
“Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang
and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!”
“Well,” the boss said, “that explains one ear, but what
about the other?” “They called back!”
“Cash, check or charge?” I ask
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled forher wallet I noticed a remote control for a televisionset in her purse.
“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
“No,” she replied, “but my husband refused tocome shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him.”
Was it a ghost?
There was this party in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain and thunder. These two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, and finally reached their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.
All of a sudden an old man’s face appeared outside the passenger window, and he tapped lightly on the window! The man on the passenger side screamed out, “Eeeeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There’s an old guy’s face there!” (Was this a ghost?!?!?!)
This old man kept knocking, so the driver said, “Well, open the window a little and ask him what he wants!”
So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of his wits, “What do you want???”
The old man softly replied, “Do you have any tobacco?”
The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, “He wants tobacco!”
“Well, offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!” the driver replies.
So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and yells, “Step on it!!!” rolling up the window in terror.
Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down, and they start laughing again, and the passenger says, “What do you think about that?”
The driver says, “I don’t know. How could that be? I was going pretty fast.”
Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock, and there is the old man again.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, there he is again!” the passenger yells.
“Well, see what he wants now!” yells back the driver.
He rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says, “Yes?”
“Do you have a light?” the old man quietly asks.
The passenger throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls up the window and yells, “STEP ON IT!”
They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden again there is more knocking!
“OH MY GOD! HE’S BACK!”
He rolls down the window and screams out, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” in stark fear.
The old man replies, “You want some help getting out of the mud?” [/restrict]