Q: Why shouldn’t Facebook have paid $1 billion dollars for Instagram?

A: They could’ve downloaded it for free!

Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime?


A: Had a byte!

  • I decided to make my password “incorrect” because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, “Your password is incorrect.”
  • Yo mamma is so fat that when she sat on a laptop, the hardware turned into software!

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

A: They can’t; they’re not bright enough.

Q: How easy is it to count in binary?

A: It’s as easy as 01 10 11.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde used a computer?

A: There’s Wite-Out all over the screen.

  • What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer? They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.

Q: What did the spider do on the computer?

A: Made a website!

Me: Siri, where is the best place to hide a body?

Siri: The second page of a Google search.

  • Does anyone remember the Swatch, a watch made in Switzerland? Thank god Croatia didn’t come up with the idea first. Just imagine if someone were to ask you what time is it? “Oh pardon me while I look at my crotch.”
  1. Why are conspiracy theories are like moon landings?
  2. Because they’re all fake.
  • I put my phone on airplane mode, but it sure ain’t flyin’. [/restrict]