Three kids argue, whose father is the fastes. One says:

– My father is the fastest, he can overtake the arrow that he shooted with the arch.

The second one:

[restrict]

– My father is even faster – when he hunts, he can gunshoot an animal and run up to the animal before it fells down.

The third:

– You actually don’t understand what speed is. My father works in municipality. He finishes work at 4:30 pm, but he’s back home by 3:45 pm already

****

Sleeping

A boss tells his employee:

– You are fired. You have been sleeping during the working hours.

– But boss, I’m not the only one who did this.

– That’s right, but you were the only one who slept with my wife.

****

Economy crisis in Greece

During the economy crisis in Greece two local businessmen chat:

– Do you pay for your employees?

– Nope, haven’t paid them for months.

– But they still come to work, don’t they?

– Yes, they do.

– Mines come too. We should try charging them for coming.

After a month they meet again:

– So, did anything change after you charged your employees for coming to work? Are they still coming?

– Yes, but these as…les are trying to save money!!

– ???

– They come on Monday and leave on Friday only!

****

BMW

Sociological survey of customs officials.

Question: “How long it would take you to buy a BMW?”

Ukrainian: – Well, I think at least three months.

Belarusian: – It should take about 5 months of work.

And the Russian customs officer: – I think for that I should work for 5 years…

Other asks: – Why so long?

– Well, BMW is quite a big company..

****

In the bus

The bus is already moving when the woman behind running and screaming:

– Wait a minute! Please hold it! I am late to work!

Passengers notice that and asks the driver to stop bus.

Woman climbs in stops for a minute:

– Thank you I managed to catch the bus… And now, dear, please show me your tickets.

****

– Temperature

A friend is making a phone call from London to his friend in Alaska:

– How are you, I have heard on news that the temperature there is -40…

– You must be kidding, it’s not true, it’s -10.

– But it was said in the news on TV, it’s really -40.

– Oh, I see, I think they meant the temperature outdoors…

****

Spanish name

During the international exhibition at Hotel Spaniard was  accommodated next to

Swedish room and at the evening he took a bottle of wine and knocks to her

door:

– Who’s there?

– Juan Fernando Emanuel di Silva.

– Come in, and please let the last one close the door. [/restrict]