Three kids argue, whose father is the fastes. One says:
– My father is the fastest, he can overtake the arrow that he shooted with the arch.
The second one:
[restrict]
– My father is even faster – when he hunts, he can gunshoot an animal and run up to the animal before it fells down.
The third:
– You actually don’t understand what speed is. My father works in municipality. He finishes work at 4:30 pm, but he’s back home by 3:45 pm already
****
Sleeping
A boss tells his employee:
– You are fired. You have been sleeping during the working hours.
– But boss, I’m not the only one who did this.
– That’s right, but you were the only one who slept with my wife.
****
Economy crisis in Greece
During the economy crisis in Greece two local businessmen chat:
– Do you pay for your employees?
– Nope, haven’t paid them for months.
– But they still come to work, don’t they?
– Yes, they do.
– Mines come too. We should try charging them for coming.
After a month they meet again:
– So, did anything change after you charged your employees for coming to work? Are they still coming?
– Yes, but these as…les are trying to save money!!
– ???
– They come on Monday and leave on Friday only!
****
BMW
Sociological survey of customs officials.
Question: “How long it would take you to buy a BMW?”
Ukrainian: – Well, I think at least three months.
Belarusian: – It should take about 5 months of work.
And the Russian customs officer: – I think for that I should work for 5 years…
Other asks: – Why so long?
– Well, BMW is quite a big company..
****
In the bus
The bus is already moving when the woman behind running and screaming:
– Wait a minute! Please hold it! I am late to work!
Passengers notice that and asks the driver to stop bus.
Woman climbs in stops for a minute:
– Thank you I managed to catch the bus… And now, dear, please show me your tickets.
****
– Temperature
A friend is making a phone call from London to his friend in Alaska:
– How are you, I have heard on news that the temperature there is -40…
– You must be kidding, it’s not true, it’s -10.
– But it was said in the news on TV, it’s really -40.
– Oh, I see, I think they meant the temperature outdoors…
****
Spanish name
During the international exhibition at Hotel Spaniard was accommodated next to
Swedish room and at the evening he took a bottle of wine and knocks to her
door:
– Who’s there?
– Juan Fernando Emanuel di Silva.
– Come in, and please let the last one close the door. [/restrict]