• Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
  • If love is blind, then marriage is its spectacles.
  • The shortest horror story: Monday.
  • Stupidity knows no boundaries, but it knows a lot of people.


  • What would you, as an uninvolved party, say on the topic of intelligence?
  • How to win the heart of a woman? Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world for her.
  • How to win the heart of a man? Come naked and carry a pack of beer.
  • Intelligence relentlessly rides in your wake – but you are faster.
  • 4 bottles of bleach: $20.00. A coil of rope, 4 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $45.00. 3 boxes of XXL bin liners: $10.00.
  • The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!
  • The password to your life is “Humor”.
  • Good persuasion technique:
  • Come over to the dark side… we’ve got candy.
  • A truth of life:
  • Only ever trust your own butt to always stand behind you!
  • German saying:
  • Too long speeches lead to no actions.
  • Some harsh morning reality:
  • The early bird dies of sleep deprivation.
  • The weekend has landed:
  • Goodbye, social status and dignity. I’ll see you Monday.
  • Don’t share the host’s music taste?:
  • “I believe they are actually using this music to keep the hobos from train stations.”
  • Need to defend a messy apartment?
  • We maintain an alternative lifestyle.
  • A smooth break-up line:
  • There was a time when I would have given myself to you, now I’m not even willing to throw up in your direction.

    Thank you, I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow creates a new hairdo for me every morning.