– You enjoy watching the news.
– You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room.
– The phone rings and you hope it’s NOT for you.
[restrict]
– Your best friend is dating someone half their age AND isn’t breaking any laws.
– You start singing along with the elevator music.
– You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.
– The only reason you’re still awake at 4:00 am is indigestion.
– People ask what color your hair USED to be.
– You’re proud of your lawnmower!
– You point out what buildings used to be where.
– You routinely check the oil in your car.
– You’ve owned clothes so long that they’ve come back into style, TWICE.
– You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
– You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
– 8:00 AM is your idea of “sleeping in”.
– Neighbors borrow your tools.
– Others ask for your recipes.
– You paint walls for a reason other than getting your deposit back.
– You can’t remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
– You wear socks with sandals. [/restrict]