I have a copy of Aesop’s Fables that I treasure so.  I heard the stories as a child and mistook them for Palauan stories –  Eldecheduch el Chelidqq – like “A Beab ma Rekung…” (The Mouse and the Land Crab).

When I was a child I had an imaginary friend. He was a very faithful friend. I talked to him all the time. He was very kind. He listened attentively to me when I spoke. He never interrupted me.  He never gave me a disapproving glance when I went off the script. He never shamed me. He never told me to go away because I was bothering them adults.  I was a lonely child.

Every child from infancy to age 99 needs to be heard.

Today I talk with GOD all the time. I’m alone but not lonesome.

From sixth grade to high school I was just numb. Simply numb. Like a zombie I was depressed and broken just trying to get by. Trying to please people was culturally correct which I couldn’t handle well. It was a difficult time for me. And I thought of suicide most of the time. I wanted to die. I felt like a burden to everyone.  At school I felt I was just tolerated. They didn’t really like me. How can they?  I hated myself. Loneliness was fierce. The quick solution was to end the pain of loneliness  shame, and sorrow by taking my own life. Someone saved me with one sentence of affirmation. They say that a smile across the aisle can save a life at the end of the day.

I dropped out of college after two years for lack of money and other hiccups. Also I couldn’t be still enough to learn something – my mind was muddled and restless. Reading was difficult because I had a hard time focusing, and poor concentration. I later learned that I was suffering with depression. I just didn’t know it.  Life with a narcissist who constantly criticizes and pushes you out of the way because you’re blocking the sun can be extremely stressful, leading to depression and anxiety. It can also make you physically sick. You may feel it in the pit of your stomach. This isn’t surprising, as stress and dismay are often coupled with a gut disturbance. (Psychology Today).

Anxiety to me is:  Ke kora di medakt leng diak modengei el kmo kedechor ra mechut el lulaolo… it could break at any moment. You could fall on your face and look like a fool.

We read stories like Aesop’s Fables, Fairy tales, and Palauan Fables like Beab ma Rekung to teach us about life.

Jesus told stories.  I love his stories because we can relate.

The old story of Beab ma rekung is a story of healing journey of the heart.

Once upon a time, the two  friends, Beab (mouse) and Rekung (land crab) went out to gather firewood.  Thay came upon a pineapple bush. The fragrance of ripened fruit was sweet, making them salivate. The Crab said, “I’ll climb up and get some for us.”  He started climbing up but caught one of his claws and a couple of his legs on the branches.  He lost his balance. He fell down backwards to the ground in pain.  His friend Mouse climbed up to the fruit and began to eat. Pineapple juices were dripping from his mouth while eating, totally forgetting about his friend.  Beab was selfish and greedy that when he climbed up a pineapple and start eating the sweet fruit  he forgot his friend.  Then the story of Beab ends there. Now the journey begins for the Crab.  He began to look for the cure to heal his wounds and restore his claw and legs.  He did find the cure that required courage and strength. It took a while but he did.

Beab is a greedy entitled rodent. His story ends with juice dripping from his mouth. The story of Rekung begins here – Some of us are like that Crab on a journey to becoming whole.  We must be careful because its possible we think we’re saved we forget it was a gift.

When things go wrong, it’s not the end.  It’s just a Comma (,).  Use it to continue to write your story. Suicide is not the answer.

SOZO is a Greek word used in the Bible meaning: TO SAVE AND TO HEAL. To make WHOLE.  Jesus didn’t just come to save us.  He came also to heal our diseases. Suicide is a disease of the heart and of the mind. It is a disease that God heal and forgive.

If you condemn suicide you believe your salvation would be because of your good works. But it’s not about what we did but because of what Jesus did.

 Thank you LORD JESUS!

Jeremiah prayed in 17:14.

“Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.

Jesus forgave the sins of paralytic man whose  friends made a hole in the roof and lowered him down for Jesus to heal. He  forgave his sins first, then  healed him and he stood up and walked home.  (Luke 5:17-26). 

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