Roger left for work on Friday morning. Friday was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay packet.
Finally, Roger appeared at home on Sunday night, and obviously he was confronted by his angry wife, Martha who castigated Roger for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally, Martha stopped the nagging and said to Roger, ‘How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?’
Roger replied grimly, ‘That would be fine with me.’
Monday went by and he didn’t see his Martha. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
By the Thursday, the swelling had gone down just enough so that Roger he could see Martha a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Droll Traffic Cop Psychiatrist
One Friday a traffic policeman stops a Maisie and asks to see her driving licence.
‘Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.’
‘Well,’ replies Maisie, ‘I have contacts.’
‘Lady, I don’t care who you know, you’re still going to get a ticket.
Amusing Examination Exam
Father: Son, what are your results in the end of term examination?
Father: What do you mean, underwater?
Son: Below “C” level.
Don’t Mess With the Elderly
Myra Rhodes, a little old lady living in Great Baddow, Essex, answered a knock on the door one Friday, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
‘Good morning, Ma’am,’ said the young man. ‘If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.’
‘Go away!’ said Myra brusquely. ‘I’m broke and haven’t got any money,’ and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. ‘Don’t be too hasty,’ he commanded. ‘Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.’ And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
‘Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.’
Myra stepped back and said with a smile, ‘Well let me get you a spoon, young man because they cut off my electricity this morning.’ [/restrict]