Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps tables for players when a gorgeous blonde lady wearing a huge fur coat walked in and asked if she could bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.

The dealers said yes and were happy to oblige.

[restrict]

She then said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ll feel much luckier if I take off my coat.” With that, she took off her coat and was wearing a skin-tight Wonder-woman outfit!

The men looked her up and down as she leaned over the table, rolled the dice, and yelled, “Come on baby, come on!”

She then jumped up and down, hugging each of the casino dealers while yelling “YES, I WIN! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, I WIN!!” With that, she picked up her winnings and quickly left.

The dealers stood there staring at each other dumbfounded, until one finally asked the other, “What the heck did she roll anyway?”

The second dealer answered, “I don’t know. I thought you were paying attention!”

****

Turbulent Times

A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night. A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said, “You’re a man of God. Can’t you do something about this?”

He replied, “Sorry, I can’t. I’m in sales, not management.”

***

A man was annoyed when his wif

A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn’t gotten the license number. “What kind of car was he driving?” the husband asked.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I never can tell one car from another.”

At that, the man decided the time had come for a learning course, and for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make.

It worked.

About a week later she bounded in with a pleased expression on her face…

“Darling,” she said. “I hit a Buick!”

***

The resume

Daisy, a resident nurse at the City hospital, was not satisfied with her job, so she resigned. She was confident that she would easily find another job due to the high demand for nurses in her locality.

She sent e-mails with cover letters to several potential employers and attached her resume to each one. A couple of weeks later, Daisy was disappointed as she had not received a single invitation for an interview.

Finally she received a mail from a prospective employer which explained the reason she hadn’t heard from anyone else.

It read: “Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, however, want to thank you for the vegetarian burritos recipe.”

****

Did You Make A Donation?

At the United Way in a fairly small town a volunteer worker noticed that the most successful lawyer in the whole town hadn’t made a contribution. This guy was making about $600,000 a year so the volunteer thought, “Why not call him up?”

He calls up the lawyer.

“Sir, according to our research you haven’t made a contribution to the United Way, would you like to do so?”

The lawyer responds, “A contribution? Does your research show that I have an invalid mother who requires expensive surgery once a year just to stay alive?”

The worker is feeling a bit embarrassed and says, “Well, no sir, I’m…”

“Does your research show that my sister’s husband was killed in a car accident? She has three kids and no means of support!”

The worker is feeling quite embarrassed at this point. “I’m terribly sorry…”

“Does your research show that my brother broke his neck on the job and now requires a full time nurse to have any kind of normal life?”

The worker is completely humiliated at this point. “I am sorry sir, please forgive me…”

“The gall of you people! I don’t give them anything, so why should I give it to you!” [/restrict]