It is said that Rumi, a 13th Century Persian poet, was so into the subject of silence. When his students mentioned it to him, he replied, “That which is truest of me has never uttered a word.”  

Deep in each and everyone of us, there is that part of us that has never uttered a word. I have learned to like it there.

Somewhere between my heart and mind there is that place where word is never uttered. When things want to change from scarcity to abundance, something happens in there.  When it gives me permission to say something with my fingers, it starts with my heart informing my brain that it’s okay to create… you are experiencing abundance.  I learned that from a braìny friend on how to attract abundance.  You can’t force it. When you do, youll compete, you’ll  manipulate, you’ll cheat, you’ll lie just to get to that space of abundance. It’s what ‘matter’ does when it tries to change. It is mind blowing. I believe we need to be patient if we want to create something. And you have to feel those emotions first before you experience the  abundance.

This morning I woke up with my brother on my mind. When I was a little girl I had a speech impediment. Other kids made fun of me. I was confused because I didn’t hear myself sounding weird and nasal.  I heard my voice alright but not to the listeners. To them I spoke through my nose. My brother always defended me. He’ll be two years older than me next month (November). He had  always tried to include me in family functions when some probably couldn’t care less.  When I became conscious of my “self” at age two, he’s been there. My defender. My brother.

I was probably three and he was five. We walked down to the taoch (docking moor) to see our father working on his boat. We met some girls on the way. I was talking to my brither when they started to laugh, mimicking me and sticking their tongues at me. He fought them off.  We were little kids. Today I know he’s there for me when I call.  As I write I wonder why I thought of that particular memory.

I think it’s because defective part of my brain made room for something more than just  verbalizing. It’s interesting to realize that not all things that occurred in your life are bad and detrimental. For example, suffering birth a compassionate heart. Rejection gives way to empathy. 

Many times as a teenager I felt imprisoned and I couldn’t wait to get outta there. I longed for freedom. I did in a way ran away in my mind in dreams and imagination. In reflection I can see in all honesty that I didn’t really love anyone. I didn’t know how. I think I just pretended to love because I was told to.  I think I began to really love people when I realized that I was loved by the one who loved me enough to die for me. Love in action.  It is a spiritual thing!

Spirituality is an individual practice, and has to do with having a sense of peace and purpose.  To me, spirituality is my personal relationship with my LORD and to grow and mature as a woman. I’m free to be myself in this journey with the Prince of Peace. It’s very personal. This I  can honestly say I love my solitude. And I love you merely because you exist. I don’t have to know your name. It’s a beautiful thing.  Love in the silence.

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