Ships in harbor are safe but that’s not what it was built for. Sail out to sea and do new things. ~GRACE HOPPER

(Grace Brewster Murray Hoppe was an American computer scientist and United States Navy rear admiral. 1902-1999).


If Dilbelau goes to her husband for validation and one day, he is too busy to give her a compliment, she may feel unseen and unheard. Her inner child longing for attention may be triggered. Dilbelau then starts a fight over something seemingly small but big to her. She feels rejected even if her husband wasn’t intending this. Such a reaction happens often when the inner child is triggered.  This fact about our inner child made me ask myself, “Why so upset?”  Or “What’s going on with you?” Self examination helped me heal my inner child. Sometimes the wound is so deep that we can’t feel until we’re emotionally  strong enough face it. And God is restoring you in his own pace.

When I was an adolescent I always knew that something was not quite right with me. I became emotionally detached. Pretty much a friendless child. I felt it was OK then and is now. I’m an introvert by nature and knowing it drove away my fearabd shame of being alone and or friendless. These days im.getting to know my inner child.  It is important to know yourself as Socrates said, “To know thyself is the beginning of Wisdom.”

Your inner child is warm, open, and communicative; spontaneous and delightful and creative with deep relational intelligence.  That’s the you created in the image of God. She’s courageous and adventurous with unlimited imagination, unafraid to dream.  The more I know myself the  fewer negative outcomes such as depression and anxiety. Once we understand we begin to heal that inner child and begin to live from there.

The only time I felt warm inside was when I was with my blind aunt/caregiver. She really impacted my social cognitive in ways I don’t have words to express. It wasn’t so much what she said but being herself. This confirmed that the first five years of a child’s life is really important. It is in the first five years of life, experiences and relationships stimulate children’s development, creating millions of connections in their brains. In fact children’s brains develop connections faster in the first five years than at any other time in their lives. When my aunt was no longer with us, I developed a strong thick wall – denial – a psychological defense mechanism that involves ignoring the reality of a situation to avoid anxiety. I had to survive. I had to be authentically me Most social cognitive we caught not taught.

Hiding pain doesn’t heal it. Acknowledge your hurt without fear of rejections. That inner child is resilient. She may fall or hurt herself but her buoyancy raise her up and go.

Everyone has an inner child. Your inner child is You but it’s not a childlike personality you have held onto all these years. It’s your unconscious mind. It’s the You that has all those repressed memories and feelings from your childhood that resurface from time to time. Healing your inner child is essential to your well-being and growth.

Happy journey to getting to know your you.

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