Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight O LORD my GOD and REDEEMER. Psalm 19:14
People like us who were made to feel inadequate tend to live in fear thus we become people pleasing slaves to avoid pain of rejection.
I learned that “No.” is a complete sentence.
“Desiring to please” can refer to the natural human need for appreciation and connection, which can become unhealthy people-pleasing when it leads to neglecting one’s own needs and identity. In a religious context, especially in Christianity and Islam, it can also mean seeking the approval of God rather than people, which is seen as a virtue, though it may lead to opposition from others.
People-Pleasing is Unhealthy.
The desire to be appreciated is a universal human trait, but it can be amplified by childhood experiences where receiving approval led to rewards.
People-pleasing is often driven by a deep-seated fear of rejection and a need for external validation, rather than genuine love or benevolence.
This behavior can lead to losing oneself in others’ needs, neglecting one’s own wants and needs, and experiencing emotional distress when approval isn’t received.
Seeking God’s Approval (Healthy)
This type of “pleasing” involves a fundamental shift from the fear of man to the desire to honor God.
Actions are motivated by love and a desire to serve, not for selfish gain or approval.
While it may lead to opposition from others who are accustomed to being pleased, it ultimately brings true fulfillment by focusing on the ultimate source of blessing and worth.
The crucial difference is the underlying motivation and the ultimate object of one’s affection and service. Pleasing people out of fear or a need for validation is a harmful behavior, whereas living to please God, even if it means displeasing people, is presented as a path to true fulfillment.