I’m not my parents’ extension. Both my mother’s egg and my father’s sperm came together with each one half set of chromosomes. They came together to give the baby the full set of chromosomes. So half of my DNA comes from my mother and half comes from my father. The two halves became one separate unique individual DNA. Amazing truth!
My first encounter with true freedom to be me was when I heard Barbara Johnson say, “We don’t come from our parents we come through them.” It was back in August 2000 at a Women of Faith Conference in Anaheim, California.
The “We came through our parents” exploded in my head like fireworks. Then and only then did I realize I was a demanding mother just like my mother. I can change and let my children be themselves. I knew I was loved but disliked — the fights and disagreements were basically ego fighting. In other words, we were self-centered. Big Time. I needed air to breathe and grow. A dellomel a mo mekngit a dbechel a dil ngara cheungel a ukall. It needs sunshine and rain.
Sel tekoi er Belau el kmo, “Kemo ua Ukall e dingalk” is so disrespectful to a grown man and woman as if they’re brainless robots.
Respect attracts respects. Love is giving not expecting anything in return. Kindness is something you can give without losing anything.
[Unconsciously] I ran away to America. That’s where I began to breathe normally as a human being and enjoyed sunlight to grow. I learned to be a separate person with relatives, consciously. I don’t have to like them. I must respect them for they too have the GOD-given spark of life in them. I choose to pray for them as I’m so far from being nominated for sainthood.
In reflection I see I was beginning to be unafraid of being saparate and still be in a relationship and allow them to be themselves. Conscious instead of being considered “kedung lorrenges a tekoi” and remain the parents’ psychological and spiritual legacy. Yes we learned so much from them and we honor them for it. Nevertheless, we need to grow as an individual with a brain, a heart, soul, and separate body. Genes come from parents but life is from God. Yes! I belong to the GOD who created the universe. He endowed my soul with a freewill -a power of choice. I was free to choose my religion. I chose to be a follower of Jesus Christ. WHERE I worship God and HOW. WHEN is NOW.
This is where I saw how unconscious parenting can really screw up their children: making choices for them, control them. You know, God doesn’t do that. He guides, influence, and teach but let you choose. He gave you a freewill. Choose life!