• t’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
  • A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
  • What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeño business.

[restrict]

  • What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!
  • The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
  • If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.
  • So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
  • A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
  • Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
  • Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.
  • How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
  • A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.You kill vegetarian
  • vampires with a steak to the heart.There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence.
  • As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.I used to
  • think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
  • The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.
  • Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent. [/restrict]