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- What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
- Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.
- Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!
- Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.
- What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.
How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes.
What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.
What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”
Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.
Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!
Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!
What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap. [/restrict]