If your heart is right, your mind will follow.
If your heart is broken, your mind will be cognitively distorted. It’s like that woman accusing their neighbor for not doing their laundry correctly. One day the husband cleaned their kitchen windows. She saw and admired her neighbor for doing her laundry correctly. Her view was distorted looking through a dirty windows.
Our view is really how our hearts feel and think. If you are too focused on how you look on the outside while neglecting your heart, you’ll see the world ugly and dirty. You’ll never find joy in your relationship.
While everyone may show occasional narcissistic behavior, true narcissists frequently disregard others or their feelings. They also do not understand the effect that their behavior has on other people. And they wonder why things are imploding in her life.
I was always afraid of relationships because in my broken heart I believed that eventually they leave. [Like my father who died and abandoned the 12 yr old]. And to fulfill that fear I chased them inch by inch by being a pain in the neck; always a complaining self-righteous like a female dog. I was being childish always wanting things my way because of fear. When Jesus found me I was 41 year old shipwreck turned upside down on the shore of nowhere. He’s been healing and restoring my life that I can’t thank him enough.
Dr Burns in his book, GOOD FEELING helped me to see where I was distorted in my thinking. He laid out the wrong thinking with- The first Cognitive Distortion is – ALL or NOTHING THINKING. You look at things in black and white. No gray area. Sometimes the sky is heavy with gray cloud but no falling rain. So is life.
Not all things is about you. It’s time to reflect and grow up.
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