Pride covers shame and hides our fears. Pride lies.
C.S. Lewis in his book Mere Christianity writes, “Pride is competitive by its very nature: that is why it goes on and on. If I am a proud man (human), then as long as there in one man in the whole world more powerful, or richer or cleverer than I, he is my rival and my enemy.”
It takes courage to be humble. It takes humility to acknowledge the painful wound to seek healing. It takes endurance to withstand the arduous journey of the heart.
Why the apprehension, anxiety and fear to do hard things like looking back into your childhood? Do you fear that you’re all alone in this? Knowing deep in your mind you suffered some verbal, physical abuse? You were judged unfairly. The pain is so deep you might as¡ well leave it there. “Don’t touch it.” You say.
In the movie Gladiator, I learned about a sea snake that lie still but deadly when treated extremely bad. When triggered they bite to kill. Unhealed memories are like that sea snake. You live with an illusion of a wonderful childhood, then something triggers the wounded child in you and you react venomously and destroy something you love like relationships. You destroy yourself. The thing is you are not alone. Carl Rogers said it best. “What is most personal is most universal.”
Rogers believed that humans were capable of becoming whole persons through self-discovery. He said that our thoughts, feelings, and actions influence each other. We’re not separate entities; rather, we’re connected parts of a greater whole. An incredible philosophy that opened my eyes to see and ears to hear, and understand Romans 7:15. Apostle Paul said it simply yet profoundly. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, and what I hate I do.”
Are we ashamed to see that our childhood was not at all that wonderful? That we were not loved and affirmed as we would have needed as a child growing up. You might say, “Oh! let it go. It’s in the past. Why do you always want to bring it up?” Because like that Belcher’s snake, it’s poisonous and deadly. They need to be named, grieved, and forgiven.
Healing is not the absence of pain but the presence of peace. (James Wilder)..
The only person who’s judging me right now is me– and what I look on the outside is not the valuation of my worth on the inside. Therefore, I must renew my mind, to acknowledge the emotional wound and give it all to God to heal. It’s peaceful in His Presence.