“As long as we are persistence in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. ~BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

The most amazing thing I found in GOD Jesus Christ is:  I’m forgiven of all my sins past and future just for believing in him. I’m a new creation – a lifetime process.

The darkest and poisoned arrowhead that still lodged in my heart was a terminated pregnancy years ago. It was an infected wound that would bleed profusely.  It was a gaping hole infecting my whole life. It stunk real bad. Years later, Jesus was introduced to me. The more I got to know him as LORD of my life, the more I found his grace to be a gift so amazing to a wretched woman like me.

The guilt like a dark cloud  hovering overhead was overwhelming. I was so ashamed. I prayed, “God I need help. I have no idea how to get past this one. I couldn’t push it out even when I tried (to numb the pain with work and other addictions). Please help me.”

I became so unrealistic and anal retentive. An anal retentive person is a person who pays such attention to detail that it becomes an obsession and may be an annoyance to others. It’s part of the unconscious mind. Fear of being exposed controls your milnd that makes you an arrogant perfectionist, overly defensive and highly critical. I was that person.

To be in Christ is to be a new creation.  I’m still flawed and imperfect woman, being restored and renewed pretty much every day until Jesus comes. St Paul says in Philippians 1:6 … being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Every door in the basement of my mind that’s been shut for years is now opened. No more secrets lurking in the dark looking out for the opportune time to shame me.

The LORD heal our deepest wounds. He restores our broken hearts, and then impart his peace that transcends human understanding. He set me free from overthinking and the incessant nightmares and other self-destructive thoughts and damaged emotion from painful memories. The process is long but the freedom from a tortured mind is worth all the troubles.

When Jesus was on earth he was dealing with real people with real problems, the hurting, the broken-hearted, the sick and the lame, the crazies and the poor. People would follow Him for days listening to his teaching, his stories, and watch him heal them physically and spiritually.  And He fed them.

Not much have changed in the environment. The bullies are still bullying. Today’s pharisees are still standing in the corner with their Bibles in one hand and stones in the other. But I’m free. My past don’t define me.

There’s peace in the midst of the storm.

 Oh, yes! storms will come. We’re always in the storm, leaving the storm, or facing the another  storm. In this world storms will always come. Hearts will still  break. And bones still break. But the peace of Christ is wonderful and marvelous ìt’s beyond words. We’re forgiven. 

I knew I didn’t know things. When GOD healed my mind it was as if a bomb exploded in my head. Lights and sparks everywhere.  I was able to learn with an open mind. The truth is you can’t learn so much with a  muddled mind.

How culture an religious rules mold your thinking to keep you locked up in fear and shame. Jesus helped me break out through the iron bars and walked out free from condemnation.

Religious culture tells us “don’t…” The list is long enough for you to realize it’s impossible to follow them all. And since Jesus raised the benchmark from doing to thinking, it seems we’re  doomed.  But that’s exactly why he came. We can’t, but he can.

When someone gives you a gift your gratitude changes your behavior.  You love because you’re loved.  You forgive because you are forgiven.  That’s why it’s called a gift. It’s to be given freely.

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