Never wrestle with the pig.  You’ll get dirty besides the pig likes it. ~ GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

If I have learned anything that could block my journey to wholeness they are 1) when a  narcissist sees you’re too strong, they will do everything to destroy you. 2) When others reject you it’s not because they hate you, they fear you and they really don’t know where to place you.

I used to thank God for emotional delays not understanding how it got there.  In my studies I learned that when we grow up in an abnormal development (trauma) like loss of a parent, or other forms of loss and abuse, we may be bullied but it will take several hours or even a day(s) for the emotion to catch up with you.  You might say, “Wait a minute. Did they just take advantage of me, label me and emotionally abuse me?”

To develop your listening skill is to see that what is being said is not about you. It’s about the one who bullies you. Deep inside these narcissists is shame and insecurity.

Kid a rechad er Belau a kmal meduch el kora di ou ngengelakle e chotubii a chad e rusur a aidirengul a ngalk even those we claim we love. Me kede kora diocherchur e diak dolchesuar while murdering our very own.  When they become strong ete tuobed el merael morcheroid or take their own life.  And you wonder why they left. Why it happened. It’s the daily dose of poisonous cyanide (comparing your child or spouse with others, labeling with poisonous names, shaming, threatening and etc.,).  They will eventually kill someone’s heart or drown them in poison.

The fact that it’s not what parents, spouse, siblings coworkers or those disguised as friends are thinking or feeling.  But how you think and feel that matter. Please know that children knows when they’re not loved. Action speaks louder than words.

Sometimes we want to be nice,  to do the right thing only to be caught in a ring with a pig. It took me a while to see that a narcissist wants to induce a conversation just to bite you. They need to fuel their self-importance, their grandiose delusions. Choose to observe not absorb their deluslions. Please understand that you may have narcissistic tendencies but not a narcissist.  Don’t waste your breath with those who put you down. Jesus said, “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to ll. (Matthew 7:6 NIV).

Now that I’ve learned the importance of healthy boundaries, I know that even if we forgive someone, it doesn’t mean we have to keep them in our lives or allow them to continue creating havoc. I’ve forgiven many but I won’t be induced or pulled into the ring to fight with them. I’d rather be alone.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.. (Proverbs 9:10, Proverbs 10:27).

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