A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?”
Lawyer says: “1000 US dollars for 3 questions.”
Man: “Wow – so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?”
[restrict]
Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question?”
****
Bob: “Holy schmoozes, I just fell off a 30 ft ladder.”
Jim: “No way man, are you okay?”
Bob: “Yeah, luckily I was just on the first step.”
***
Police officer: “Your car is too heavily overloaded. I simply cannot let you continue like that. I’m going to have to take away your driver’s license.”
Driver: “You’re kidding me, right? The license can only weigh one ounce tops!”
****
Are you two twins?
No, why do you ask?
Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes.
OK that’s enough, your driver’s license please.
****
A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him: „Don’t worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money.“
And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he didn’t have a penny anymore.
****
Man to his wife: “Do you know what our 6 year old son wants to be once he’s big?”
Wife: “No.”
Man: “A garbage man. And you know why?”
Wife: “No, why?”
Man: “Because he thinks they only work on Tuesdays.”
***
Mother: Eat your bread.
Child: I don’t like bread. Why do I have to eat the bread.
Mother: So you become big and strong.
Child: Why do I have to become big and strong?
Mother: So you can provide the daily bread to your family.
Child: But I don’t like bread! [/restrict]