“People are not addicted to alcohol or drugs, they are addicted to escaping reality.” -Anonymous.
I never knew I was lonely growing up, especially after my father died. In reflection it was a good thing. If I knew I was lonelyq I would have gone mad looking for something to numb the loneliness. But I did. I found sugar. The most wonderful thing in candies, chocolate bars and cookies and soda pop. I was hooked. I didn’t want to face my pain of loneliness. I believed I was just ngemokle. Me, lonely and lost? Not on your life.
Later in my teen years I found nicotine. I stole my aunt’s cigarettes and my grandfather’s once dày.
The mind isn’t simply a dangerous place, it’s the most dangerous place. All that’s wrong, sinful, and evil starts in the mind. It’s ironic how the part of the human body that controls everything is also the most out of control part of the body.
It’s so easy for Christians to point their fingers on my weaknesses. They made me hate God with all his rules and judgment. I hated school and church I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I was going to hell anyway so might as well enjoy my cigarettes ànd etc.
All that resentment toward God didn’t make him change his mind about me. He still loved me in spite of my raging accusations on him for all my problems. That’s what’s so amazing about amazing grace. I saw clearly the story of the Lost Son. Luke 15.
For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
It’s been a long journey of the heart to the heart of GOD.
I still eat chocolate bars, cakes, and rocky road ice cream in moderation knowing I’m so loved and accepted. I will never be alone.