The greatest glory of living lies not in never failing but rising every time we fall. ~Anonymous

Sometimes quotes like the one above have been used throughout generations because they touch something in us. Like

“a telkangel a uchul eng beluu Ngersuul.”  I don’t know what you’re going through.

Someone said that the best resilience quotes resonate with something deep inside the human spirit. They endure because they touch the parts of us that are hurting, that are trying, the parts that say “Maybe I’m not enough for this.” The parts of us that hope our future is not determined by the stars, but by our own sweat. And the best quotes about resilience are handed down through the years, because they capture a tiny piece of the reality of being human – and like any good saying or fairytale, they condense and capture some essential characteristic of our experience.

I asked my brother once why so many deaths in young people in Palau? He replied, “Stress.”  Then I read about the suicide epidemic worldwide. With covid  pandemic, stress raged like wildfire.  Fear of lack adds on to stress.  Stress is a reaction to mental or emotional pressure. Ngkora kumi eldi moltamt er ngii ra bekl sils engdi mol melochd. Sometimes they ‘will’  themselves to leave a place where they feel hopeless. Most of the time they just want to be accepted — to Belong to feel good enough.  Exceptional performance is required in order for them to belong. There comes a time when they know they’ve tried and yet were not accepted. They just couldn’t rise anymore so they close their eyes, never to open again. If you do a little digging,  you’d find somewhere in the caregiver’s line, verbal and emotional abuse is the common denominator.

Selle bebil engdi tutau ea kurrenges ra chad el di choldiu ra bechil ma klebelengul ma sikel ma chimol ngelekel el diloldiu erngii. So I pray, Rubak tia kede mekerang erngii. Where  does love making fits in??? Or is it just some physical activity for an abusive and entitled person.  Perhaps that’s the environment he grew up in.  It’s done like clockwork, we begin to accept it as “normal”.  It’s subconscious behavior.  It’s dysfunctional.  It’s killing our loved ones.

I think it was Fredrick Nietze who said if there’s a WHY, there’s a HOW. The problem is: Dò we want to accept the why or are we just going to deny the why and wear the mask of  perfection or blame someone, government or God. But it must begin with self. If we want change it we change ourselves.

Trauma is a result of abuses verbally and emotionally in daily dose. It can destroy the body. We see how complex it can be as it shows up later as complex post traumatic disorder (C-PTSD) emotionally, mentally, spuritually and/or physically. When a person is marinating in abuse it will eventually kill them.  Everyday abusive mouth pours a daily dose of acid that slowly kills like cancer, chronic auto immune diseases, heart diseases including broken heart and fractured mind. The marinating reaches the bones and destroys life.

Generational trauma means:

The worst that humans do to humans are passed down through generations. It means it’s ugly, unbelievable, and sometimes overly overwhelming, if you let yourself sit down and really listen to it. It’s unseen arrows piercing the heart of our children. I saw and heard a mother verbally abuse her daughter every morning. I knew it was bad I just didn’t know how to deal with it. Studies show that you don’t witness abuse,  you experience abuse.

Thank God for making our brain shut off so a child can survive. It’s called dissociation. Naming the disease is the beginning of healing. And when people go through change they may feel unmoored that it can be  frightening.  Ngkora ikel bilas el diak a chorremkel (anchor) meng di telkib el yolt eng subechii ra cheldukl ma lechub eng obechakl l’obengkel a yolt ma berius el mo cheroid.

Ng mechelaol me ngosiik ra kmung ngerang el lorreked er ngii. Ea lak le betik er ngii engobechakl.

HEALING is not for the weak. Healing is for the Courageous and the daring. Remember always that you’re never alone.  GOD IS THERE.

Father heal our wounds and stop the bleeding. Teach us what we know not. What we have not, give us. What we are not, make us,for your Son’s sake. BOLUAISEI

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