You tried not to be defensive but you messed up feeling like a failure. Failure is not weakness. It’s an event. It’s not being wrong. It’s not being inferior. It’s just being different.
We all grew up from different environments with different experiences. And each child is unique. (All the reason not to compare ourselves and our children against each other).
The “nature vs. nurture” debate explores whether human traits and behaviors are primarily determined by innate biological factors (nature) or by environmental and experiential factors (nurture). Modern research suggests that both play a significant role, and they often interact and influence each other. I agree.
The truth is we can change and grow (mature) by rewiring our brain (Neuroplasticity). “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2)
The beauty of God’s word is it was written thousands of years ago. Science is catching up. Yes we can be changed by replacing lies with the truth. The lie may have been “Nobody loves you”. We replace it with the truth: “We are loved with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
We are gifted with different gifts and talents thus we see, hear, taste, touch and feel things differently. Therefore we need to develop our emotional intelligence (EI) Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. (More later on EI).
It’s important to grow the “Space between a stimulus and response.” (Viktor Frankl) Starting with inner work. “Why that statement sounds like a criticism or judgment.” And remind ourselves with these truths: I’m acceptable in Christ. I’m secure in Christ. I’m significant in Christ. I’m enough!
At the feet of Christ we are equal with each unique personalities. In Christ there is no Condemnation (Romans 8:1). He made us different with something so unique only you can contribute to the world.
When you feel you’re being attacked, ask yourself ‘What’s within me that’s being triggered?” And change it with- ‘it’s not about me” and look for an old opèn wound from your past and ask the Holy Spirit to heal the wound and allow time for restoration. Be kind to your self and trust the process.
Remember – not everything is about you. No need to defend yourself. Listen carefully and learn something from the one speaking lies from your mind. You’ll be surprised. You might walk away with a smile and a lesson learned.
We all desire to speak the truth in love and have a good conversation instead of elevating every encounter into a needless war of words.
Remember me loving you.