I wish I had wings so i could fly to the desert and dream of rivers and waterfalls. ♡♡♡
It’s hard to live in a push-pull relationship. I married someone like that, a Malignant Narcissist.
Malignant Narcissist is a personality type that causes extreme narcissism (A disorder in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance). Narcissistic personality disorder is found more commonly in men. But I’ve found that women can be too. The cause is unknown but likely involves a combination of genetic and environmental factors. (Nature /Nurture) They can be very aggressive and, sometimes, abuse of others. A person may use manipulative means or violence to enhance their own sense of wellbeing. My late husband was like that, highly critical, alcoholic and violent.
All of the above just added on to my already self-loathing, fearful, shameful inner child. An Inner Child is the true self that was told to shut up and do as you’re told– do it according to the rules.
If this sounds like your relationship and you are confused and devastated by these back-and-forth games, I found healing through brutally truthful and intense forgiveness and self-acceptance.
Resist the urge to figure out why they’re acting this way and instead, work on “Acceptance”.
Self-acceptance is defined as “an individual’s acceptance of all of their attributes, positive or negative.” When we’re self-accepting, we embrace every part of ourselves, not just the “positive” things! Self-acceptance is unconditional—you can recognize weaknesses, but still fully accept yourself.
I have accepted the part of me that held me back. SELF REJECTION that says “nobody likes you” to rest. And when it sneaks in to destroy me, I kick it out. To be truly human and truly alive is to exercise self-awareness – perfectly imperfect and flawed. It’s an integration work. Shadow work. A true self acceptance gives me Joy to let my inner child dream.
Be the loving parent you never had to yourself.