We have simply the best shower thoughts – you know, the mind blowing thoughts that just hit you in the shower! Very funny!

  • The goal of golf is to play as little golf as possible.
  • Pregnant women are the only true body builders.

[restrict]

  • Searching for a new laptop online is basically forcing your current computer to dig its own grave.
  • What if the spider I killed in my bedroom lived his whole life thinking I was his roommate and died wondering what brought on this psychotic break?
  • My head is very slowly 3D printing my hair.
  • Sweater is a pretty disgusting name for a piece of clothing.
  •  I and Bill Gates have a combined fortune of approximately 80 billion dollars.
  • If you’re waiting to be served in a restaurant, shouldn’t you be called the waiter?
  • It would be very nice if the car navigation voice would get more and more excited as you’d get closer to your destination.
  • Are those who sneeze the most blessed?
  • If weights became invisible, a gym would turn into a slow motion disco.
  • Is a paper cut the tree’s way of getting back at you?
  • I wonder what dirty talk looks like in sign language.
  • The devil shakes a pitchfork, the grim reaper swings a scythe… So is farming a big thing in the underworld?
  • When a pregnant woman takes a bath, she’s become a human submarine.
  • If snails are so slow, how come nobody sees them coming? It’s always like bam, there’s a snail.
  • “Where are you?” is a question that’s never been asked in sign language.
  • My lips don’t touch when I say the word ‘touch’. My lips do touch when I say the word ‘separate’. [/restrict]