We have simply the best shower thoughts – you know, the mind blowing thoughts that just hit you in the shower! Very funny!
- The goal of golf is to play as little golf as possible.
- Pregnant women are the only true body builders.
Searching for a new laptop online is basically forcing your current computer to dig its own grave.
What if the spider I killed in my bedroom lived his whole life thinking I was his roommate and died wondering what brought on this psychotic break?
My head is very slowly 3D printing my hair.
Sweater is a pretty disgusting name for a piece of clothing.
I and Bill Gates have a combined fortune of approximately 80 billion dollars.
If you’re waiting to be served in a restaurant, shouldn’t you be called the waiter?
It would be very nice if the car navigation voice would get more and more excited as you’d get closer to your destination.
Are those who sneeze the most blessed?
If weights became invisible, a gym would turn into a slow motion disco.
Is a paper cut the tree’s way of getting back at you?
I wonder what dirty talk looks like in sign language.
The devil shakes a pitchfork, the grim reaper swings a scythe… So is farming a big thing in the underworld?
When a pregnant woman takes a bath, she’s become a human submarine.
If snails are so slow, how come nobody sees them coming? It’s always like bam, there’s a snail.
“Where are you?” is a question that’s never been asked in sign language.
My lips don’t touch when I say the word ‘touch’. My lips do touch when I say the word ‘separate’. [/restrict]