Good friends, good books, and sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.  -Mark Twain

When I was a teenager I didn’t have many friends.  I had relatives, classmates, and acquaintances.  There were times I felt I was being tolerated. When I went to college I realized why I didn’t have many friends:  I was not a very good friend.  Truth be told I disliked myself intensely that in order to survive I projected what I disliked about myself to others.  I was projecting to cope – some sort of personality disorder.

Experts say that projection refers to unconsciously taking unwanted emotions or traits you don’t like about yourself and attributing them to someone.

The antidote to this poison in my head is go inside myself and find my shadows, my dark sides. They make us judge others harshly without knowing we are that person ourselves.

Joseph BURGO, PhD wrote a book , WHY DO I DO THAT?  that explains projection clearly. 

Shouting “I could never be like that!” in response to an annoying person helps deflect attention from the part of us that is actually like that. And even if the other person renounces his or her unpleasant behavior forevermore, someone else will come along and trip that trigger — at least until we accept that we’re rejecting it in ourselves. This process is part of what Burgo calls our “innate tendency toward integration.”

Knowing (self-awareness) compels us to integrate.

Integration, according to Jung, is the process during which both the individual and collective unconscious are integrated into the personality. Integration is a positive psychological development that indicates psychological maturity and may help an individual move past negative habits.

My good friends are good books. They take us on adventures.

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. (Twain)

Sleepy conscience is when you are at peace within.

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