I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. – Carl Jung

This year marks the fourteenth year since this column was borne. It’s been a long journey which I’m very thankful to you, readers and this publication. I didn’t plan to write as a career for this part of my life… ng meral di ngara bekesel chochid. What I write may influence some but not all. Thomas Merton (a Trappist Monk) writes, “If a writer is so cautious that he never writes anything that cannot be criticized, he will never write anything that can be read. If you want to help other people you have got to make up your mind to write things that some men (people) will condemn.” We are all working progress– we haven’t arrived yet – in need tidbits of bread for the road and love to fuel our soul, to never run on empty.”


This column have been mostly about reviving our “true self” and the “value of forgiveness”. Maturity comes down to being real you by forgiving yourself, others, and God. Even though God doesn’t make mistakes, forgiving him for allowing crisis and trauma in life sets one free. He can handle it… fear not.

Someone said that a person with an experience is never at the mercy of a person with an argument.

I still remember when someone said to me, “Just be yourself.” I was confused because I really believed I was being my true self. Far from it. I was performing to the full, living in fear of miss a step and be rejected. I desired acceptance so I pushed myself to improve. The irony is the more I tried the more I lost myself. This script was deeply buried inmy subconsciousness. Before I had a chance to think, the player with the script was two steps ahead of me. Although I was defiant every step of the way the irony is I was becoming exactly what I was expected to be – my false self.

It takes brutal honesty to be real you beaming with spontaneity. Experts tell us that spontaneity is our ability to express our self without hindrance. We preserve and develop spontaneity if we feel safe, cherished, and free from distress. Spontaneity captures the innocence, readiness, and freshness of a child. The spontaneous person embraces joy and affectionate humor just as children, who are less pent-up and socially constrained, naturally express their authentic and visceral feelings. Those who are spontaneous beyond their childhood years retain honest access to the full range of their emotions. They retain resilience and the ability and readiness to heal, mature, and develop, to expand their competence. Our spontaneity prods us to growth because we are destined for expressing our aliveness.

Finding my true self has been a long intense war where I have become a refugee – far from home. Spiritually, I’m not home yet. This is why I love Jesus. He came to give us life freedom to live it. [/restrict]