Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth. —
MARCUS AURELIUS, ROMAN EMPEROR AND PHILOSOPHER
When I was a child my mother told me a fable about a father and the son and their donkey that made me understand what being virtuous is. I was ashamed to wear second hand dresses, afraid people will talk that we were poor. And, yes we were not rich or well-off by any means. My parents hid it well. I realized later that what I wear does not define who I am.
In this fable a man and his son are accompanied by their donkey and meet constant criticism from passers-by of the way it is used or treated by them. The story’s purpose is to show that everyone has their own opinion and there is no way one can satisfy all. There are four or five different elements to the story that are ordered differently according to version. When both walk beside the donkey they are criticised for not riding it. When the father rides, he is blamed for making his young son walk; when the son rides, he is blamed for leaving his elderly father on foot. When both ride, they are berated for overburdening their beast. In later versions the father then exclaims that the only option left is to carry the donkey on his back; in others he does so, or father and son tie the donkey to a pole which they carry on their shoulders. This action causes general mirth and has an unhappy outcome, resulting in the donkey’s death through one cause or another. (Wikipedia)
Stoicism takes other people’s opinion as such – their opinion.
Stoicism teaches us to focus on the things we can control—our thoughts, emotions, and actions—while accepting the things we cannot, such as the actions of others or the natural course of events going on in the world around us.
Stoics admit to the fact that people don’t have control over everything or even much, of what happens in life. And they emphasize that worrying about things outside of their control is unproductive, or even irrational to a person who wants to attain tranquility.
Proactive. Think thoroughly before you respond. Stop reacting and start living. As my father used to say, “Tial btelum a ngarngii ultutelel. Ke mesang e rongesii e chomdasue. Ngdiak dim rurt ra ngerir ar chad.”