• If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
  • “The Law of Avoiding Oversell”
  • When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
  • “The Law of Common Sense”

[restrict]

  • Never accept a drink from a urologist.
  • “The Law of Reality”
  • Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
  • “The Law of Self Sacrifice”
  • When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
  • “Weiler’s Law”
  • Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.
  • “Law of Probable Dispersal”
  • Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
  • “Law of Volunteer Labor”
  • People are always available for work in the past tense.
  • “Conway’s Law”
  • In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
  • “Iron Law of Distribution”
  • Them that has, gets.
  • “Law of Cybernetic Entomology”
  • There is always one more bug.
  • “Law of Drunkenness”
  • You can’t fall off the floor.
  • “Heller’s Law”
  • The first myth of management is that it exists.
  • “Osborne’s Law”
  • Variables won’t; constants aren’t.
  • “Main’s Law”
  • For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
  • “Weinberg’s Second Law”
  • If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization. [/restrict]