Selfishness must always be forgiven because there is no hope for a cure.  – Jane Austin

Why couldn’t I recall blessings but remember every curse, every criticism and put down and shaming comment almost verbatim in my mind?  In his bestselling Walk Series, Richard Paul Evans wrote that our minds are Velcro for hurtful memories and Teflon for good memories … they don’t stick.   [restrict] Curses and negative comments used as reverse psychology, “… Aku mekduch ra rengum”  can have its advantages but they’re breeding ground for self-hatred, fear and toxic shame (belief that you’re not adequate).  Insecurity. They’re so deceiving that it’s hard to see our emotional damages (our issues) by simple self-examination without honest-to-goodness prayers, my niece calls “Emotional Labor”.  I believe that speaking to God is not about show; thus my prayer life is very private.  Like Mark Twain wrote, “You can’t pray a lie.”

The journey to restoration is long, strenuous, and it requires perseverance…and tenacity.  It is not passive.  It is not litmus test.  It is not a race.  It is a journey.

Quantify steps of becoming whole doesn’t work and they do not offer us a harder direction to the path of wisdom. We develop wisdom by suffering and being faithful in the process to continue a path that honors the reality of the goodness of God.  To say you have forgiven; that it’s all in the past does not work unless you relieve the experience and suffer.  In other words, the pain has been doormat for years and must be awakened.  Have you ever wonder why some people annoy you?  It’s because they are but triggers to the deeper issue in you.

For anyone to say he or she is already healed and whole is to actually lose his or her heart causing one to selfishly compare herself higher, better than others.  To whitewash or at pretend that we are far more whole is self-deception.  We must always tenaciously not relinquish when discouraged.  Like I will knock on that door again and again until something happens.  I will forgive and forgive.  I will renounce those curses over and over again until I’m free.

Evans wrote, “Desire is the word.  The answer.  It is not the ability to walk that pleases God.  It is the desire to walk.  The desire to do the right thing. The truest measure of man is what he desires.  The measure of that desire to be seen in actions that follow “I want to forgive so-and-so” who made me feel small, and etc.  We have got to escape a culture that demands control by being able to quantify change in four easy steps. We must admit things that are not lovely, not good, not kind… and keep walking.

Selfishness manipulates. Love honors.  Honor suggests maturity and mutuality in a relationship.  We can honor a person without submitting ourselves to that person’s command.  We honor each other when we affirm and respect the worth of each other.  If no one affirms you, do it to yourself.  It is important to take our soul care seriously.

You are made in the image of God and you are glorious… Only you can reveal that glory of God in this whole world.   [restrict]