A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner one day to grab some lunch. He ordered a cheeseburger, a coffee and a slice of apple pie.
Just as he was about to eat them, three big hairy bikers walked in.
The first biker grabbed the trucker’s cheeseburger and took a big bite from it.
The second biker picked up the trucker’s coffee and downed it in one gulp.
The third biker ate the trucker’s apple pie.
The truck driver didn’t do anything or say a word as all this went on.
When they finished, he just paid the waitress and left.
The first biker said to the waitress, “He ain’t much of a man, is he?”
“He’s not much of a driver, either,” the waitress replied. “He’s just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorbikes.”
This young city worker is sitting at the bar after work one night, when this big construction worker sits down next to him. They get to talking over their beers and eventually the conversation gets on to nuclear war.
The young city guy says to the construction worker, “If you hear the sirens go off, the missiles are on their way, and you’ve only got 20 minutes left to live, what would you do?”
The construction worker replies, “That’s easy – I’m gonna make it with anything that moves.”
The construction worker then asks the other guy what he’d do.
He replies, “I’m going to try and keep perfectly still.”
A trucker stops for a red light one day and notices a blonde in the car behind. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and the blonde says to him, “Hi, my name’s Julie and I thought you should know you’re losing some of your load.”
The trucker just ignores her, raises the window and proceeds down the street as the light changes. A short while later he has to stop for another red light. The blonde in the car is still behind him. Again, she jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.
As if they’ve never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, “Hi my name’s Julie, and I thought you should know you’re losing some of your load!”
The trucker shakes his head but apart from this he ignores her again. He raises the window and drives on as the red light changes.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again.
At the fourth red light the trucker jumps out of his truck, and runs back to the blonde’s car. He knocks on the window and she lowers it.
The trucker says, “Hi, my name’s Steve, it’s winter in Canada, and I’m driving the salt truck!”
A gynaecologist was fed up with his job and so he decided to switch careers.
He’d always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics.
After the class ended, the students were given their final exam. The task was to strip a truck engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynaecologist did his best – and was amazed to find he scored 150%.
He asked the instructor, “150%? How could score that?”
“Well,” replied the instructor, “I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. Then I gave you 50% for reassembling it perfectly. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.” [/restrict]