I know that “Change” is the only constant thing in life. And the only thing that is consistent is our inconsistency. But God is here and He is consistent in his love and grace.   Now if I could take that fact and let it sink down into my heart, life would be peaceful.  I do love change but I also hate change.  I don’t like it when things stay stationary for too long. I become bored.  When too many things change all at once, I find myself desperately looking for something familiar to make me feel comfortable and content with my ‘now’.   

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My life has seen a lot of changes, mostly positive. The positivity didn’t come at once… I had to ride out the storms, go through the fire before I could see the forthcoming change.  There are more changes to be done in me, but I am genuinely happy about the new changes.  I listen more, talk less.  Slow to anger as I lower my expectations knowing I’ve disappointed others as well.  I even decided to let go of some toxic relationships not because I love them less but because I want to love myself correctly.

I do not have to prove myself to anyone nor will I compare my life with another.  As my thumbprint is unique so is the way I perceive, feel, and understand pain. I choose NOT to waste my pain… they are sent my way to change me.   I will not make life better for me at the expense of another – friend or not.  I will not wear a smile of a righteous martyr… and say, “Oh, it’s the will of God.”  That’s a cop out.  I will trust my Maker that he will not let me be drowned in the sea of hate, swept away in the river of regret, or be burned in the fire of judgment.  The flames of rejection will not set me ablaze.

Taking inventory of my life made me realize that no matter how I try, I’m being pulled into some kind of whirlpools with some old song on repeat.  I just want to get off.  I know change is good for me.  I will fight for change.

Caterpillars have no clue what it’s like to be butterflies.  They crawl on their bellies eating leaves, wondering about that thing flying overhead drinking nectar from the flower.  When pain comes, they wrap themselves with something made of silk to protect them while they grow.  Without knowing time comes when they must struggle painfully out of the cocoon.  Beautiful iridescent silky wings reflecting sunlight with many different colors when seen from different angles.

I know that sounds romantic but the reality is growth takes place through pain.  They make us wiser and compassionate, less judgmental and more other-centered.

If things never change, you’d never learn anything new. And every time you learn a new thing— your outlook in life becomes broader than it was yesterday.

Something brutal may step in your doorstep without warning, intent to crush you.  But it’s the unexpected things in life that make us step back and ponder where it’s leading us.  [/restrict]