There was once a man named Odd. People made fun of him because of his name so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.
Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, “That’s odd.”
A grandson runs up to his grandfather and asks him if he can talk like a frog.
“Of course not,” says the grandfather.
A few minutes later, his granddaughter asks him the same question.
“No, of course not. Why are you both asking me this?”
The granddaughter replies, “Dad said that when you croak, we can go to Disneyland.”
CHECK THE E-MAIL ADDRESS
A few days after her husband’s death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.
The e-mail reads:
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
Blonde: “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.”
Psychiatrist: “Don’t you have a cell phone?”
Blonde: “They’re too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car.”
Psychiatrist: “And do you receive any letters?”
Blonde: “No, but I figure it’s because when I’m driving around, my zip code keeps changing.”
I hate when I meet a girl, I’m trying to get to know her, and she’s like, ‘Oh, you can just Facebook me.’ B$%#*ch, my face is here right now! [/restrict]