Depression is a frozen fear. -Sigmund Freud

Predisposed genetically with mental disorder and mental illness compelled me to study and understand psychology. We must always remember that History and DNA impact our lives. Why some people spend their entire life studying the mind and its affects, why we do the things we do the way we do. There’s the familial, learned behavior as well as the uniqueness of an individual. Fascinating!

The more we understand ourselves the more we practice healthy stoicism. We  become a people that endure pain without reacting abd judging but with deep understanding of being human. We become strong enough not to let little things trigger our brain and catapult us into some wild uncontrollable painful responses – like running to medicate our pain with our drug of choice, our addictions.

Then there’s the traumatic- adverse child behavior which could have been one single event or day to day threats to a child’s safety and security. A child living in fear, anxiety… lacking security can change a child’s perspective in life as they grow in years. The more the child’s stressful experiences, the more likely he or she is to suffer from things like heart disease and diabetes, poor academic achievement, and substance abuse later in life.

I went to a group therapy when a woman shared.  She said, “I felt like a wart at times in my adolescent years growing with fear and anxiety. I just tried to survive with fear that I could be easily scraped off (and thrown away).” 

A young man said, “I have been so afraid to look down because I didn’t want to see my heart crushed like sands scattered on the floor.  I knew that if I tried to pick it up it’ll slip through my fingers.”

After I heard these stories I saw them in a different light.  I even saw my life in a different light… just as broken,  not so different from them. Maybe I would’ve used different language but basically same meaning. We all needed to be renovated, restored and renewed.  So… where do we begin?  This was in 1990s.

It was as if we lived with our enemies.  It is very depressing. It’s like no one is on our side and we find it hard to trust others,  even with those very close to us.

The counselor leading the group allowed us quietness and silence for a few seconds and simply said,  Jesus Help!

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