What do you call a man that lost all of his intelligence?
A widow.
***
How can you tell if a man is lying?
[restrict]
You can see his lips moving.
***
Why do men need sports action replays 30 seconds after the event?
Because they’ve forgotten what happened.
***
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
***
Why did God create man first?
Because he needed a rough working model before creating the perfect specimen of the species.
****
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.
***
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
****
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They’re married.
***
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
***
What’s the smartest thing a man can say?
“My wife says….”
***
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
***
An english professor wrote up on the board “woman without her man is nothing” and told his students to punctuate it.
The males in the class wrote “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”
The Females wrote “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.” [/restrict]