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- If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?
- Organized people are simply too lazy to search for stuff.
A jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain. That gives hope to quite a few people.
My relationship is like an iPad. I don’t have an iPad.
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I am perfect.
If I can still lie on the ground without having to hold myself, I’m not drunk.
Do people talk about you behind your back? Simply fart.
They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the math. Seems I died in 1543.
As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me.
There are people who are a living proof that total brain failure does not always lead to physical death.
When somebody doesn’t get something:
I’m sorry, I have neither the patience, nor the coloring crayons to explain this to you.
Finally, the spring is here! I’m so thrilled I wet my plants. [/restrict]