I love these lyric below. They help me to think. To move on after I’ve lived fully today. We can’t rush life.
A CITIZEN SOLDIER
Used to sink with all the anchors
Of the problems I catastrophize
Used to drown in the riptide
Of perfection, thoughts in black and white
Patience don’t come easily
My best friend was apathy
Living blind means anxiously
‘Cause when I slow down, I can see
I’ve still got mountains to climb on my way out of bed
I’ve still got oceans to cross inside of my own head
But I’m not losing sleep
‘Cause I’m a little bit better than I used to be
Used to hide in the deep blue of deprecation I romanticized
Used to swim from the shoreline
Of the good things I would minimize
Patience don’t come easily
And growth is perfect’s enemy
And healing ain’t a guarantee
But when I slow down I can see
I still got demons that drag me down and want me dead
A million reasons to fall apart, but I ain’t stressed
Yeah, I’ve bought room to breathe
‘Cause I’m a little bit better than I used to be
I was trying to see the bright side with a blindfold on
Taking orders from my thoughts as if they’re never wrong
Was avoiding all resistance, wishing I was strong
So, when I wanna be the martyr, I’m gonna try a little harder
I found comfort in distortions that I sold myself
‘Cause nothing hurts if you believe you’re too far gone for help
But if I’m growing, that’s enough, I wish my brother died yesterday and Im a little out there scattered ..