A friend wrote to me saying: The other day I found myself standing in the kitchen, staring at the sink, fully overwhelmed — not by dishes (though yes, those too) — but by this random, creeping panic that I was somehow behind in life.
Why? No actual reason. Just… a brain ambush.
You know the kind.
Everything’s fine-ish. You’re just trying to get through your day.
And then suddenly — boom:
“You’re not doing enough. Everyone else has it together. Why are you like this?”
(Thanks for that, Brain)
Anyway, I didn’t spiral (this time).
Because I’ve learned to recognize what’s actually happening in those moments.
It’s not me.
It’s the noise.
Most of us are walking around with 4 main kinds of inner noise — and we don’t even realize it.
They sound familiar, even logical… but they quietly add up and pull you off your center.
Let me introduce you to the usual suspects:
1. The Critic
“You should’ve done more today.”
“You’re too emotional.”
“That text you sent sounded weird.”
This noise is trying to keep you safe by pre-rejecting you before anyone else can.
2. The Over-Feeler
You feel something, so you draw unhelpful (usually untrue) conclusions from the feeling.
You feel anxious → “Uh-oh, something bad is coming.”
You feel sad → “What’s wrong with me??”
Spoiler: Feelings are just feelings. They are not facts and definitely not always true.
3. The People-Pleaser
You say yes when you mean no.
You smile when you’re secretly stressed.
You text back with three exclamation points even though you’re exhausted.
You laugh when you’re at the butt end of someone’s (hurtful) joke.
This one equates likability with safety — and it’s running the show more than you realize.
4. The Over-Functioner
You’re handling other people’s emotions, managing their moods, anticipating everything, and trying to take care of everyone.
And you still feel like you’re failing at best, drowning at worst.
This mental noise doesn’t want you to rest because resting brings up anxiety, and makes you feel like you’re going to miss something, and it’s all going to fall apart.
Now — are these voices fun?
No.
Are they proof that something is wrong with you?
Also no.
They’re just learned patterns. Survival strategies.
They used to help you get through hard stuff.
Now they mostly just make you anxious, resentful, overwhelmed or overly exhausted by 2 p.m.
So… what do you do?
You don’t try to shout over them.
You don’t need to “fix” them.
You just start to notice them.
And then gently — like, really gently — you remind yourself:
“This isn’t the truth.
It’s just a thought. Just mental noise.
And I don’t have to follow it.”
That’s how you start to come back to yourself.
Not by doing more.
But by listening less to what’s pulling you away from your most centred self now.