“If you are working on something that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.” —Steve Jobs
Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.
High school was not the best years of my life. It was overwhelming with fear and painful emotions. I was labeled “mekngit a btelul.” I believe I was. Understanding mental disorder helped me to go and find healing.
In reflection, I never had a time to grieve. I had to survive so I bit the bullet and kept going. It’s exhausting.
One decision can change the whole trajectory of your life. And it begins with admitting to the emotions you are experiencing. Intense sorrow I couldn’t identify held me prisoner to my own brokenness. I didnt know I was allowed to cry. I was told I was too sensitive that made me feel strange, an outsider. Everyone seemed fine and normal except me. Unrealized sorrow – ungrieved loss, and fear of being an outsider, not belonging tormented me and nearly killed me.
When i was given permission to weep and feel my feelings, I began to live. No more denial because of fear.
Someone wrote, “Emotions are set to stir things up, challenge our perceptions, and create new dynamics with Joy, Disgust, Fear Anger and Sadness.” Emotions are here to awaken our minds and hearts to respond with love and grace. To do something about it begins with forgiveness. I mean, aren’t you tired of being angry edi melengmes when your family and friends subtly push you out? Are you afraid of being rejected? Aren’t you tired of being disgusted about your mistakes in life?
I started healing when I couldn’t handle my feelings and emotions any longer. They found a way to creep out to destroy my life and relationships. So began the mourning of my losses.
My therapist said to me, “There is no should in grief. And there is no right way to mourn.” Learn to feel your feelings, cry when you want to and maintain a journal to keep you focused. Your healing path is yours and yours alone.
Trust the process. ♡