Last night when I prepared for bed, I asked the Holy Spirit to lead me in my writing for this issue. There have been many times when I’m lost and afraid of what I should write in this column. As I closed my eyes, I saw a naked baby about three-month-old laying alone on the blanket on the floor with no one attending to her. I could see her ribs sticking out. She needed loving nurture. The vision shook me deeply. I opened my eyes and sat up and prayed, “Lord God is that what I need to write? The mother wound? It’s a deadly sin to say your parents were imperfect. And this is exactly the problem – shame. Shame wants to hide in the dark.
PSYCHOLOGY says, “The mother wound is the cultural trauma that is carried by a mother along with any dysfunctional coping mechanisms that have been used to process that pain – and inherited by her children (with daughters generally bearing the brunt of this burden).”
THERE ARE NO PERFECT PARENTS.
My mother died in 2011 and my relationship with her is still changing. I’m still learning to understand my life as her unworthy daughter. I had deep mother wounds that GOD had healed. I know there are still some that needs healing. They are hiding way deep in my heart. It’s been really good and difficult journey simultaneously. I decided not to pretend -) deny the pain of the reality I had to endure as a daughter.
Jung once said: “The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.” He proposed that our “inner child” shows how positive and negative experiences during childhood influence us later in life.
I learned so much when I began to understand human behavior and where it all began. Domestic violence an unborn child heard and felt while in the mother’s womb is where it all began. They hear and feel everything their mothers experience and emotions before their birth. A child knows when they’re not loved.
The environment, the words uttered are heard. How verbal and emotional abuses are still viewed as encouraging and good parenting. Not! Strict religious and cultural guidelines, and constant criticisms, being compared to other children were nothing less than murdering the child’s spirit.
You grow up always feeling not good enough and inadequate unworthy human being.
Our Worth comes from our mothers. Our self-acceptance comes from our fathers.
My father was a good father to me but he died when I most needed him. The impressionable age of 12.
I could never be able to talk about these things if I have not forgiven my parent. Between both of them I was abandoned and rejected. They too
were wounded by their wounded parents. It’s up to me and you to stop the cycle of wounding.
I found my worth and self-acceptance on Jesus Christ.
There’s nothing too deep that God can’t heal. Nothing too far gone that God can’t reach, heal, and restore. Just ask him.
God loves you not because of what you’ve accomplished or what you possess or what you have in your bank account but merely because you exist.